A friend once told me that I need to stop saying “sorry” all the time. ”Sorry, I am late.”, “Sorry – I was in your way.”, “Sorry for saying sorry too much.”. Well, I am a fan of the word sorry. I don’t mean the kind of “sorry” that binds itself to sarcasm either; you know, “Hey man, sorry my team beat yours in Sunday’s game!”. No, I am thinking more of the sorry that gets delivered for any reason ranging from a minor inconvenience to another, through to a life changing gaff.
“Sorry” interests me because it requires at least two parties and some complex relationship semantics. For example, for an apology to be effective someone has to be inspired to offer it, another has to be inspired to receive it, and it must arrive at the recipient’s ear reeking of genuineness. An apology humbles the giver and proffers respect to the recipient.
Other qualities of an authentic apology, when received, includes the ability for reparation and restoration in both the giver and recipient. Action! A true apology always seems to be followed by some kind of action on the part of the person who made it, and sometimes even by both (that action might be a greater effort to not let the grievance occur again). An apology can also be returned; having received an apology it is sometimes easier to offer one back (but why wait?
). An apology presents a formal opportunity for another person to forgive.
I think the ability to appropriately apologise is only hampered by pride. Pride seems very destructive because it is self absorbing and exludes the well-being of others. A small word like “sorry” can tear down a relationship wall and use the rubble as the foundation for the rebuilding.
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